we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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