Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize