I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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