She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
