Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
