It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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