He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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