Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
