I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Well I just put wine in my tea
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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