I'm going to jail i love you
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
