Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
