is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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