Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
