i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she told me i tasted like america
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
