it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
