dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
