Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize