Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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