i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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