You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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