So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
