Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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