Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I believe in your delicious
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
