I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
