At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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