Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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