i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
