Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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