The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
