Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I am available for nakedness
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