I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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