Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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