I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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