Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize