You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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