i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
