Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
