She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
