Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
