Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
