There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
