Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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