yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
