maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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