I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
