when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
