have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
