i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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