I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
