I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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